Charlie, Too Much Chocolate Cake and a Pity Party

pity-party

While walking my dog, Mambo, this morning, I ran into a woman with a charming little dog. Our dogs hit it off, so we walked together. The woman told me that she was fostering Charlie and if I was interested, I could adopt him.

I knew my husband didn’t want another dog. Still, I couldn’t help noticing how well Charlie and Mambo got on. And Charlie was cute and sweet and before I knew it I was imagining bringing him home. By the end of the walk I was head-over-heals in love with him and wanted to adopt him.

I spent the next few hours cleaning the house because we were having company over for dessert. Then I made my friend Katherine’s The Most Delicious Chocolate Cake Ever and Crunchy Peanut Butter Cookies. The cake would have been plenty for the few guests we were having, but I go overboard for company.

I also go overboard with sampling. I try not to pig out when I make goodies, but I always do. By the time I finished baking I felt sick and was upset with myself for overindulging.

When my husband got home I asked him about his day and then went into my pitch about adopting Charlie. He (my husband, not Charlie) shut me down and I knew he wasn’t going to budge. I was crestfallen.

As I was doing the dinner dishes, two of our party guests called to cancel. We still had a couple of other people coming, so I put out snacks. At 8 o’clock I wondered where everyone was and by 9:15 I knew no one was coming.

Why didn’t anyone come? I thought about my childhood as a shy, chubby girl who never fit in and started feeling sorry for myself. Maybe I still don’t fit in. I pulled out the chocolate cake and my husband and I indulged while I threw myself a pity party over Charlie and no one liking me.

Now it’s late and I can’t sleep due to all that chocolate. I’m done with the pity party, but I still wish I could adopt Charlie and bake goodies without pigging out.

Photo courtesy of Dwelling in the Word.

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About celestedimilla

Hey there. I’m Celeste, California girl, writer, psychotherapist and burgeoning plant-based foodie.
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82 Responses to Charlie, Too Much Chocolate Cake and a Pity Party

  1. I’m sorry that you had a rough time. It was not polite at all for those other guests not to call and tell you they weren’t coming. 😦 But you are a wonderful person, so don’t let this rough patch get you down. :3 Things will be better next time. 🙂

    • Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment! I’m actually feeling fine today (life always seems better during the day!). I also found out that my guests had good excuses, so all’s well!! Celeste 🙂

  2. I would have come! ❤️

  3. Sofia says:

    It’s so cute when dogs get on. After that, oh no, seems like you had a bit of a rough evening, but don;t let it make you sad, today will be another better day. xx

  4. I’m glad you shared your Pity Party! Sometimes that’s all we need to do to “get over” ourselves. Despite my age (ahem) I still have feelings of insecurity sometimes, too. Don’t know what was up with those guests, but they missed out!!

    • Do we ever out grow pity parties???? I don’t have them as often anymore. I remember as a teenager shouting to my mom “this is the worst day of my life!” on a regular basis.

      My pity party is long gone now and I’m feeling great – thanks in part to your lovely comment Annie!

  5. Suggest you place a placard on your front door saying “Freshly cooked chocolate cake made by Celeste” and you will need to fight the masses off from your doorstep!

  6. mangomouse says:

    My trick with cakes and other sweets is: have one, give some to others, then off to the freezer most of it goes! Hard to be impulsive when you have to thaw it out. Aww, I hope Charlie finds a home very soon. At least he is with good foster people!

    • That’s a great trick!!! I’ve done the have some, give some to others, then throw it in the garbage before. I hate doing that – your trick sounds soooo much better!! Thanks for the comment – I appreciate it! Celeste 🙂

  7. VegCharlotte says:

    OMG! People are so rude! Not even bothering to call??? … You need new friends. I would have gladly shown up for your chocolate cake and peanut butter cookies!
    Try not to take it too personally … I encounter this a lot in the VegCharlotte meetup group I run. No-calls, no shows. However many people sign up for an event, I can count on one-third not to show.
    If I were you, I wouldn’t let my friends get away with this. I would confront them and say, “We missed you last night! We waited hours for you to show up and you never called. We were so worried! Were you in a bad accident and not able to get to a phone?” Seriously. Set a boundary and let them know that behavior is NOT tolerated.

    • Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment Catherine! I only took it personally for a couple of hours and then I got over it. I think it mostly got to me because I was already bummed about not being able to adopt Charlie. And I will tell you that I’ve spoken to my friends and everyone had a good excuse and apologized to me, so all is forgiven!

      That’s cool that you run a meet up group. I used to run one for shy people. I was lucky if a third of the people who signed up came so I’d say you are doing great with your group.

      Thanks for your support!!! Celeste 🙂

  8. Sweet post Celeste, and take heart, we’ve all had those days 🙂

  9. Their loss! More cake for you! There’s always a bright side. A good pity-party can be like hitting a reset button, though. Now get up and go. New day, new possibilities.

  10. I would have been there in a heartbeat! Vegan chocolate cake? Sign me up! 🙂

    All kidding aside, you and I are a lot alike. When I host, I pull out all the stops. I want their experience to be enjoyable so I make everything from scratch and always prepare too much food. It’s the Italian in me. I can no longer count on both hands how many times I have planned a party, pulling out all the stops and have only a few show up while the rest cannot even be bothered to give me the courtesy of a phone call to say, “I cannot make it.” I had to be a negative Nellie, but the last time this happened I said to myself, “That’s it! I’m done hosting.” and haven’t hosted a party since (the last time was 2011). I feel bad this happened to you — because I know how it feels.

    As for the dog, well how about getting rid of the husband? LOL! Kidding.

    I say, bring the dog home and see what happens. Maybe your hubby will fall in love.

    • Oh my gosh – you had me laughing out loud at getting rid of the hubby!! I’ve been trying to get him to just go over to see the dog, but he won’t do it. He’s no softie when it comes to animals anyway, so I don’t even know if seeing Charlie would make a difference.

      As far as the party, I think I’m with you. I don’t know that I’m going to bother anymore.

      Thanks for your support – I really appreciate it!! Celeste 🙂

  11. carmen says:

    Too bad I’m at the other end of the continent!! I missed out on a fun evening with you AND chocolate cake!! YUM!!

    That happened to us once–three couples were invited for dinner and three couples did not show up! First, you could take it personally, but in reality, it shows bad manners and inconsiderate friends.

    ❤ carmen

    • Hey Carmen! Thanks so much for your thoughtful comment. I’m not taking it personally anymore – I was just having a moment. I also think that if I wasn’t already feeling bad about Charlie that the party wouldn’t have bothered me so much. It was a lot of disappointment for one day.

      Maybe one day we will be able to get together and share some healthy chocolate cake – that would be great! Thanks so much for all of your support, I really appreciate it! Celeste 🙂

      • carmen says:

        Just let me know when you’re in my neck of the woods and please bring some healthy chocolate cake 😉 I do hope we will meet someday!!

        We ate out at a vegetarian/vegan restaurant today and I had a vegan chocolate brownie for dessert–it was to die for!! No eggs or dairy and tasted deeeeelish! It proves we don’t need cruelty to enjoy tasty food!!!

        I understand about Charlie, animals have a way of pulling at our heartstrings!! ❤

  12. maggie0019 says:

    I’m very sorry this happened. Mom threw a b-day party for Jamie once in 3rd or 4th grade and invited the whole class. 3 people showed up. They were at the bowling alley with 20 pizzas because it had said, “RSVP regrets only” and no one called to say they weren’t coming. The people at the bowling alley were so nice; they could see how sad and disappointed the occasion turned out to be and so they put the pizzas in the restaurant and didn’t charge for them…Somehow, they pulled the birthday party out of the bag and it worked out. Bottom line is, people are RUDE and DISRESPECTFUL. Maybe you can work on hubby to get Charlie. He’d be a better friend!!! Sending you tail wags and lean-up-against-you hugs, Love, Maggie the Pitbull

    • Hey there Maggie! What a story, that trumps my story for sure!! I can’t believe that many people never called to say they couldn’t make it. Great how the bowling alley was good about it, however. I really appreciate your comment. I’ve actually spoken to all of my friends now and they really had good excuses so all is forgiven.

      As far as Charlie, it’s not gonna happen. I’m bummed, but my husband is right that we really don’t have room for another dog at our house. We may be moving in a year, so maybe if we get a place with a big backyard I can talk my hubby into another dog.

      Thanks so much for your support!!!

  13. The Veggie Green says:

    How rude people can be! On the up side maybe your husband is being wise and looking out for you by saying ‘no’ to another dog.

    • Thanks for your thoughtful comment – I really appreciate it! And yea, another dog would be more work. If I step aside from my emotions, I’m not sure that I really want to deal with that. I’m feeling much better about everything today anyway. It’s amazing how much better things can seem on a sunny day! Celeste 🙂

  14. Sarah says:

    Oh, poor Charlie too. 😦 I wonder if your husband might change his mind if he met him… Sorry, I shouldn’t do that, should I?

    • Thanks for your thoughtful comment Sarah! My husband isn’t going to change his mind. I tried to get him to meet Charlie and he refused. Oh well. Charlie is adorable, however; so I’m sure he’ll get adopted by a nice family. Have a great week chica! Celeste 🙂

  15. Stacey says:

    I would have come! I cannot cook and I love pity parties! Cheer up, darling, there’s more for you and hubby and those friends do not deserve you.

  16. theduffboy says:

    Like others who have commented, sorry ’bout the no-shows. I also wish I could adopt another dog, but I feel bad now for not being a better caregiver.

    • I hear you about wanting to be a better caregiver for our dogs. I’m fortunate that I work from home so at least my dog is not alone all day, but I know he want’s a lot more interaction that I have the time for. Thanks for your comment – I appreciate it! Celeste 🙂

  17. the vegan style revivalist says:

    Wish I could have being there. Great company and cake, chatting about Charlie – sounds perfect!

    • I wish you could have been there too!! It would be nice to have another vegan over for a change. Besides my husband, I don’t know many vegans in my real life. Thanks for your comment and support – I really appreciate it!! Celeste 🙂

  18. Sorry to hear about your crummy evening! Guests not letting notice that they’re not coming? Just a tad rude in my opinion…
    Don’t be too hard on yourself r.e. the cake, over-indulging happens to us all on occasion
    I hope you get to adopt Charlie!

    • Thanks for your thoughtful comment Emma – I really appreciate it! I’m feeling much better about the whole situation today and not beating myself up over it anymore. I am still sad about Charlie, but it’s not gonna happen. Maybe in time I’ll be able to talk my husband into a second dog, but he’s so not open to it at the moment. Celeste 🙂

  19. Janelle schilling says:

    If I were closer, I would have come over and eaten chocolate cake with you. I don’t know what’s up with people lately, but they’re getting flakier. And sometimes pity parties and chocolate are absolute necessities for good mental health. Lol

    • Aw Janelle, you’re such a sweetheart! It would have been wonderful to have you here for cake!! I actually found out that everyone had good reasons for not showing up, so all is forgiven. And you’re probably right – we all need pity parties once in a while and chocolate a lot to be happy!! Thanks so much for all of your support – you’re really appreciated girlfriend!! Celeste 🙂

  20. Awww, how sweet that Mambo & Charlie met. I hope you get to adopt Charlie! And I’m sorry to hear about your day..and how rude of these guests to call last minute, you are such a lovely person with a beautiful personality and of course, a great cook! Can you invite me next time? I hope you will have a cheerful weekend – sending you positive vibes and big hugs xx

  21. Awww, how sweet that Mambo & Charlie met. And I’m sorry to hear about your day..and how rude of these guests to call last minute, you are such a lovely person with a beautiful personality and of course, a great cook! Can you invite me next time? I hope you will have a cheerful weekend – sending you positive vibes and big hugs xxx

    • You’re such a sweetheart Rika!! Thank you for your lovely words and for all of your support. I’ll certainly invite you next time!! With as much as you travel, who knows you may be in my neck of the woods the next time I’m having a party. Positive vibes right back at you!!! Celeste 🙂

  22. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    How bloody rude to not ring. So rude. Never would I invite them again, and definitely I would have rung at 9.15 and said “waiting. where are you?”

    The chocolate bit is good though.

  23. HeartBound says:

    I can so relate to your tendency to eat-as-you-prepare…it can be so frustrating when you come to eat the final creation and you’re already full :-). Sorry to hear about your pity party. I know all your blog followers would have loved to have been there for you. Cat

    • I know I’m not the only one who overindulges when I bake, but let me tell you I REALLY overdo it. Oh well – we all have our issues. Anyway, thanks so much for your support! I’m doing much better today. Celeste 🙂

  24. sf says:

    Don’tcha worry, cuz I pig out with desserts too! Whenever I receive a full-sized cake (round or rectangle), I always eat HALF of it in one sitting! I made rice krispy treats for the first time in my life the other day with a whole box of cereal. Was so proud of myself that I finally did it, when everyone in the world have been making them since they were 4, probably. But once I got ’em done, you betcha, I ate ’em all up within 2 days. Though, I generously let my sis have just 2 squares, to give ’em a try. Hehe.

    • Haha – I guess most of us pig out with desserts!! I have to get over myself – hehe.

      So you finally made rice krispy treats, good for you! They’re so easy and delicious. I have yet to make vegan rice krispy treats, but I will one of these days. That was kind of you to let your sis have 2 squares 😉

  25. I would have come and I would have helped you eat the chocolate. I hope you get the other doggie…maybe if your husband met him.

    • I’ll have to invite you next time Ivonne! That is if there is a next time because I’m thinking my entertaining days are over.

      I don’t think Charlie is going to happen. Maybe if we move, which we’re considering, and get a place with a bigger backyard my husband will be more open to it. 🙂

      • When I do a party I always cook food but in the past I have also had pot luck–that way the meat eaters can bring meat (ugh) so no one feels left out or will drop dead from not having meat for one meal and at the same time they can taste my yummy veggie cooking. I may be moving to Palmdale–much bigger space for the same rent I am paying Long Beach.

    • Haha – I laughed out loud when I read “so no one will drop dead from not having meat for one meal”. I bet lots of people actually think like that – just crazy!!

      I’m glad to hear that there’s hope on the horizon with your living situation. I’ve heard of Palmdale, but I’m not exactly sure where it is. I’m guessing it’s inland. A bigger place for the same rent sounds fab. Do you like the area?

      I haven’t done a potluck in ages. My gatherings are always really small, but I suppose I could still ask people to bring stuff.

      Have a lovely week Ivonne! Celeste 🙂

  26. Pingback: How to Make Coconut Milk Whipped Cream | Honk If You're Vegan

  27. Mike Lince says:

    I am glad you shared your story about your disappointment, Celeste. You reminded me of a friend who told me, “We laugh together because what good is joy if it is not shared, and we cry together because to cry alone is even sadder.”
    I sympathized with you, and I would have even helped you eat your chocolate cake (because that is the kind of guy I am). 🙂 In the end I think Paul was right, even if it did not feel that way at the time. Things have a way of working out. Ultimately, your friends apologized. And you gave Charlie a great walk! – Mike

    • It’s nice to know that someone is willing to eat chocolate cake with me – haha! Maybe someday I will bake a cake that I can share with you and Florence – who knows!! Anyway, thanks for your support. And you are right, Charlie did get a great walk! Celeste 🙂

  28. sophiazerg says:

    I totally relate on the indulging while baking! Crappy day, Celeste, there’s no denying that. 😦
    Hope today is a better one.
    Sophia XO

    • Aw thanks for your support Sophia! My crappy day doesn’t feel so bad with all this love I’m getting from my blogging buddies. I’m also feeling a lot better about overindulging knowing that I’m not alone in this – hehe. Have a beautiful week! Celeste 🙂

  29. jennypugh says:

    I found myself getting so angry on your behalf, why didn’t they let you know they weren’t coming? That’s just so rude! I love that phrase, ‘pity party’, I think I’ve had a few of them in the past! I hope today is proving better than yesterday xx

    • Thanks for your support Jenny!! I really appreciate it! I actually found out that my friends all had good excuses, so all is forgiven. I’m feeling much better now – the pity party is over!! I guess we all go there sometimes, it’s human! Celeste 🙂

  30. Love this post! You are so very liked! It is fun to see all the “likes” you have here just by being so completely yourself!!! Yay! Sending you love and likes!!! 🙂 -Stacy

  31. Who are these people? I’ll never understand people. I’m really sorry it was a disappointing day.You sounds like a marvelous hostess and I would love to attend your soirees! I know how it feels, I tried to start a couple of meetup groups this year, and while hundreds signed up, everyone would cancel on the day of events. It was so irritating, particularly with the first one where I too made loads of yummy food! But I realized I was happy and busy enough without the groups (the idea was to spread veganism through fun stuff, but oh well.) so I’ve dismantled them. And now I just focus on spending time with the people I know are truly important in my life and who value me.

    • Thanks for your thoughtful comment – I really appreciate it!! I’ve done the meetup thing too, and I could never predict how many people would actually show up for a gathering. I never thought about running a meetup group to spread veganism, it sounds like a great idea in theory. I so get why you stopped the meetups, I don’t do them anymore either. Thanks again, and have a wonderful week! Celeste 🙂

  32. I would have so totally come! Too bad I’m on the other side of the planet! And I totally get what you mean by the baking-eating linkage. I always end up pigging out on my own baking successes (and some of the failures too.. who else would eat that!) 🙂

    • It is too bad you’re on the other side of the planet – I’d love to have you over for chocolate cake!! I’m so glad to hear that I’m not alone with the tendency to pig out when baking. And like you, I totally pig out on my failures too. Thanks for your support Priya! Celeste 🙂

  33. Sorry to hear about your evening. The people who didn’t show up are missing out! Chocolate cake is the best!

  34. Aw man!! This pretty much happened for my birthday last year. I’m sure you are long done with the pity party but that still is a bummer. I’d have totally helped you in the overindulging department if I were there! 🙂 Cake? What cake? 😉

    • Hey Jessica! Yes, I’m long over my pity party, but I still appreciate the thoughtful words – thanks!! The chocolate cake is long gone too, otherwise I would have invited you over for a slice. Sorry to hear that this happened for your birthday last year – bummer!! I think I would have felt worse if it was my birthday. Have a lovely week! Celeste 🙂

  35. Aww! Celeste! Don’t feel bad! 😦 remember there are still plenty of other people who loves you! Just look at how many followers/friends you have!
    -Iz

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